Transcript
0:00 People would say, "Oh, I wish you could live in my pocket. I wish I could just have you in my ear and you could just [laughter] feed me the words to say to my kid. You could tell me what to do." This is not how this is meant to go. I can't tell you what to do. My job rather needs to invite you to understand how to be. Wayne Dyer said, "We're not human doings, we're human beings." And so, when a child is struggling, we want to see what's going on. How long does it take you to see what's going on? 0.5 seconds.
0:30 Done. I'm seeing. I'm observing. I'm getting curious. How does it make you feel inside? This child just clobbered another child, let's say. How does it make you feel when you see that happen? Do you have that like come up inside of you, "HOW DARE YOU?" OR DO YOU HAVE THAT "OH, GOODNESS. That's tricky." come up inside of you? Whatever comes up inside of you is going to come out your mouth. So, that feeling matters and that feeling is shifted and shaped by how you perceive the child up here. So, you see what's going on, you feel it for the child, and then you be.
1:09 And as Eckhart Tolle says, the doing, what you say, how you respond, the actions that you're going to decide to take, that doing is going to flow from your being.
Summary
- The desire for guidance in parenting often leads to a wish for someone to provide ready-made responses.
- True parenting involves understanding how to "be" rather than just "do."
- Observing a child's behavior is immediate and crucial for effective parenting.
- Emotional reactions to a child's actions influence how one responds verbally.
- It's important to recognize and process personal feelings before reacting to a child's behavior.
- The speaker references Wayne Dyer's idea that we are "human beings," not just "human doings."
- Eckhart Tolle's philosophy suggests that actions should stem from a place of being, not just reactive doing.