Eva Mendes on Parenting & You

0:00 [Music] welcome to a very special episode of parenting and you with me Dr shaali today I'm very excited to be talking to my friend Hollywood star and author Ava Mendes Ava just like all of us is a mother trying her best to show up for her kids as consciously as possible coming up we're going to talk to Ava about her experiences with conscious parenting and her amazing new children's book I cannot wait

0:31 Ava and her husband Ryan have two daughters who are 8 and 10 years old she's been an early adopter of conscious parenting and has been a huge supporter of the movement and now author of this amazing book called Desi mama and The NeverEnding worries welcome Eva Mendes to my podcast thank you thank you Dr chaali I love this podcast as you know I'm a huge fan and supporter oh my goodness I just want to tell all our

0:59 list ERS how impressed I've been by your curiosity we connected with each other because you were such a fan of conscious paren because it touched a chord in you so tell our listeners what in particular resonated with you well first of all radical Awakening really like was a radical Awakening for me so that made a huge impression on me as as to many others but when I became a parent let me see my older one just turned 10 like 2

1:28 weeks ago and then I have an 8-year-old and I feel like the first few years were about surviving you know especially they're so close in age but once it started getting into like you know communicating talking once it felt real which for me was like the toddler age I was shocked at how much I didn't know it yet that's why conscious parenting hit me so deeply but I was shocked at the amount of like in

2:00 I didn't know about myself in a way I was shocked that I was like why did that why did I react like that or why would I do that or feeling one way and you know just not being proud I started having those moments of being in Discord with myself if that makes any sense and it wasn't until conscious parenting even that phrase even that it just it all hit me and then starting to read your

2:26 parenting books I I realized that it was because parenting for me was so much about doing that work internal work and I had no idea I would say that's the biggest surprise when people ask me about the biggest surprise is about how much internal work needs to continue because I've been a fan of therapy for years as soon as I could afford therapy as my mid 20s I've had like a therapist in my life to you know work with I was just so

2:57 grateful that I had a manuscript in a way and then especially with the parent map right the parenting map yeah I have had no sleep I'm a sick kid a new puppy uh but anyway yes I think what you say about your experience will resonate with so many that's what happened to me I was appalled at how immature I was I was disappointed shocked but I was say why didn't anyone tell me that I wasn't ready for this and that was my Epiphany

3:28 too that wow I can do the parenting but I don't know how to be a parent because of my childhood so take us to your childhood a little bit Eva and tell us what patterns do you find yourself repeating the most oh my gosh it's so interesting because you know when I was in my 20s I'm 50 I just turned 50 this year and when I was in my 20s for sure I was like I'm not going to be anything

3:55 like my parents you know that whole thing and I'm shocked another shock is like like how much I'm like my mother and I adore her I adore her and she's on a pedestal I dedicated the book to her as well as my man and my girls but yeah my household when I was little was very chaotic a lot of screaming a lot of anxiety a lot of like uh turmoil even though I had a loving

4:25 family and I still have a loving family it was so chaotic and my mom had a very difficult childhood full of like trauma and I I don't want to say this but the way I used to feel was like well I didn't go through what she went through so I have no right to even be this way I don't have that trauma that's real trauma what I've had is this so I was also like when becoming a parent and

4:51 still I still have this like guilt and not a real understanding of why I'm a certain way and I kind of go well my mom had every reason in the world she was basically a single parent I love my dad but he wasn't like around much she had four kids I mean she has the stories of being in Cuba and like walking to get water from the well you know what I mean she lost her parents at a very young age

5:14 so a lot of I think and I hate this word I hate this thing but a lot of Shame also came up from me cuz I was like I have it so good my mom she fought to get here I was the only one born in the states like how dare I even complain or how dare I even so there was all this confusion around why I am the way I am and only through more therapy and

5:36 reading your books and reaching out to you that's why I reached out to you with the big SOS because I was like I'm doing exactly what my mother did and then I felt like and I don't even have a reason to be this way or good enough reason because I haven't gone through what she went through so it's so complicated it is complex so one is this generational absorption of of this trauma right and how we don't learn these emotional

6:06 regulation skills and that's why I love this book so much because you are teaching children through the simplest story everyone needs to get this book how children can learn emotional regulation so what you're saying is that that chaos was really an emotional chaos and you feel so guilty so now you create chaos in your mind and so now you're a mother in the present moment you're confounded with so many emotions and you don't know how to navigate them what

6:38 pattern do you think has been the hardest for you to break as a mother there's been a few I think that one of the hardest patterns for me is yelling because I don't yell when they need me quote unquote like or I would you know I've never yelled like shut up or anything it's not in my my mind you know it's not like a mean yell but it doesn't matter I yell and you know it's this

7:07 like this yelling that I find so cultural but like it's like okay I'm having a really hard time getting through and not yelling like you know and the rushing and the yelling that's the hardest thing for me yeah talk about that cultural component of yelling because I too come from a culture where you know we discussed you know mothers throw slippers they throw things they yell they smack but it's not necessarily seen as evil it's seen as part of the

7:38 culture but it does cause harm to the child's inner sense of self so talk about that cultural piece a little bit my mother was definitely you know again so loving and so amazing but it was a definite like raising us by fear like that whole thing that I really talk about being conscious of and I hope I'm not going to look back in 20 years and go oh shoot you know like I did that because I really don't want to rais by

8:08 fear like I'm that's the one get emotional over it because it's so not fair to to the kids you know a lot of times when when people meet my girls and they say oh they're so respectful and they're so you know sweet and I'm like oh thank you but I'm like oh no I hope that they're just mimicking what they see and I've never I hope that I'm not unknowingly putting some kind of pressure on them through fear like I was

8:40 raised in that way through like you know threats and fears yeah I'm trying that's the most conscious thing I think I'm trying to be I don't know if I answered your question but no I think it's so powerful because parents don't realize how that fear element you know the threats the punishment the shaming lasts forever I mean look you're 50 and you can still remember memories of that pain that pain doesn't go away it doesn't and

9:09 I see what it's done to my siblings and I see you know what it's done to other people you know and especially you know I talk about my culture because it's what I know and it's just I feel like it's so embedded that's again why I love conscious parenting CU it's one uh you know if I were to go on autopilot parenting yeah I could do it they'd live through the day but I don't that's not

9:33 what I want isn't it so amazing when you begin to become conscious like the other day I just began to become conscious of my sighing like I sigh like I didn't even know I was sighing so much till someone pointed that out and or my daughter would say to me why are you so angry but I wasn't conscious of how I was looking right so becoming conscious is both so scary I think for people and that's why many people resist my message

10:03 they want the easy fix right it's so hard to look in the mirror yes it's provocative so how can we we encourage other parents and what did you do to have that courage to look in the mirror and go you know what I need to work on that I think first of all it's like just knowing that we're all in this together you know and that none of us have a manuscript for parenting yet but for

10:28 life everyone's kind of figuring it out and I see it as sharing information that's the thing is I don't see it as judgment and as I've been promoting my kids book I'm like I this is sharing like I'm not trying to like this is what's worked for me and this is what's working in this component and in this category or whatever it is but if any mom has any advice or anything wherever I can get it any parent any

10:57 caregiver of like how I can get my eight-year-old to sleep in her own bed the whole night you know what I mean like there's so many different complicated parts so by talking about my book or the way I was receiving your books is like to me that's just they're tools that may or may not work but like I don't see it as a judgment and I think that's why I feel like I absorb a lot and I take information in that I feel

11:23 works for me because I'll take any help I can get and I'll take that about myself as well like that's how I'm about therapy but not many people are like that well I was just going to say yeah but I think maybe it's training as an actress I came up as an actress when the internet was like the comment section of things we're just opening up right I I'll never forget IMDb when that started and it was great you could look up who

11:47 you were working with who you were about to meet it was informational it was all the you know International Movie Database anyway I DB and I remember the first time ever I went down and read comments because I before that I had not even thought about I was like comments and I started reading these comments about me and you know we know how the comment section can be but this is when I was what 25 and I was just starting

12:16 pretty much and becoming an actress and I went immediately to therapy talk to my therapist about it and I realized and I worked on myself and I said it's going to suck in this area this is going to be really hard so I had to make peace with myself and I said look if I'm going to go for it I have to know that none of this is personal when I don't get a job it's not personal when I don't and it's

12:42 true nothing's personal you know and that just gave me a freedom and I think maybe it's years of practice taking so much criticism as an actress or an Entertainer or you know a public figure that's really helped me when it's come to Parenting I'm like okay yeah I know this isn't personal I don't feel judged I was pretty shocked I have to say and and and gratefully surprised at how vulnerable you've been with me in terms

13:08 of your process and raw and you know you just ask questions from a very curious open place and even though the answer is going to sting you you're able to take that in and I wish more mothers were like that because we are hiding behind this mantle of perfection and you mentioned my book uh a radical Awakening which really tries to sh matter this mantle of perfection but you've always been so open and vulnerable even before

13:34 this interview you were like I still have questions so ask your questiona well I think okay there's there's some that are deeper than others but right now I'm noticing that especially because I've been working a lot lately from my phone a lot because it's remote I can be working anywhere and I am doing this thing that I don't like and I know I can be better it's like you know I'll be in here working on my phone or even when

14:00 I'm just next to them answering an email or something and they'll be like Mama Mama and I'm like one second I'm working you know and I'm just like Mama hey guys you can see that I'm working you know I've explained this to you know but there's something about the way I'm doing that I don't like and then there's something that I do where I'm like guys really I'm working like what is it I don't like myself and because I

14:24 do it on a daily I'm like I have to figure this out and it doesn't sound like a big deal but I don't like it I don't like the way I get and then I get like a baby like I I just get like really really like guys come on like really I'm just you know literally it took you to the playground like what you know the whole thing I'm like please just give me my time most moms have to

14:48 go to work I chose to stay here you know like it's what is that what is that and how do I get rid of it how do I change that tone and I love it I love it so couple things so the first thing is that you are on repeat okay so the first thing about a trigger is to notice that we are on rinse repeat you know people often ask me dry how do I know I'm

15:14 triggered I go uh because you're doing the same thing over and over so that's the first sign that something needs to change now number two whenever we think that something needs to change it's our human instinct to point the finger on to the outside and go you change so that's what you're doing each and every day you look at your children you point the finger it could be your children your partner anyone and you subconsciously tell them hey you're the problem you

15:39 need to change so what you're telling your children is hey guys you stop bothering me you stop bothering me guess what they're not changing so now we have to realize that oh it's me who has to create a different boundary I keep expecting them to change why should they change I need to change so now you you own the problem and the solution and you create the boundary from within see you're expecting them to be a

16:08 50-year-old and create a boundary but they look at you as an open cafeteria where they can go and get the food anytime right exactly you're the open Library get the book get the you that's how children look at mothers No Boundaries that actually is a good sign although it's very hard for the parent the good sign there is that your children feel so so safe with you they look at you as an Ever full well where

16:33 they can just get water out of any time eventually they will learn boundaries but right now they're too young so who has the burden now of creating the sacred boundary it's you right you are actually trying to be there because you want to be there you're guilty but you're not really there so you have to be brave to own hey I can't be here so let me really not be here and create that sacred boundary because that

17:01 creates Clarity and actually gives the right message to your children that you are honoring your space and you're not you know giving double messages right now you're giving a double message because I am giving a double message you're guilty right right so how can you own it own it I need space I need a closed enclosure I need to go that takes ownership that what you're doing is important so many mothers don't like to take space so they do everything in

17:30 front of the children and don't do anything well it's because we feel guilty that what we're doing is not you know something we are deserving of so when you own that you deserve this space this is your work that makes you joyful then maybe you can take that space what do you think yeah that sounds about right but what does that look like Dr shaali because a lot of time we are in the same space and I love that what

17:58 would that look like if we're all working everyone's kind of like together but doing their own thing and I don't know why I like that I just feel like even though we're doing our own we're disconnected we're still connected but then what happens is it bleeds into like like you know what what I just described to you so are you saying that creating that boundary would be me actually moving out of the room is that part of

18:23 it well it depends right so number one you because your children are now8 and 10 you can give them a choice when they begin to become needy you can you can give them a choice okay I can either do this and then be with you or be with you and then be with this so let's decide together how needy you are and the second thing is I could go to the other room but I really like hanging out with

18:48 you but when I'm here then you keep interfering so help me help you I want to be here but I also don't want to keep saying the same thing to you so should I just go there right and then maybe they'll be like yeah go there and come when you when you finish and then you can go without guilt so look the thing is this we can't have everything right you want to be there but you can't be

19:10 there so that's the double message I'm giving again yeah the double message and then guess what and I've done this too trying to be the loving mother I actually end up the screaming mother yeah yeah because I don't honor my space yes yes yes and then we're like What do you look I was being so nice I was trying to be there you know and then we make them feel guilty yes so just try to maybe take that little 15 20 minutes Eva

19:39 it's much better than getting irritated and then blasting off in a reaction and guess what that 15 minutes is not going to make them or break them if you're not there right but that yelling could have an effect and then makes you feel guilty and then you're overcompensating the next few hours right yes exactly Point that's just so messy it's so messy yes we love being messy we we mothers especially and I'm telling you it's because of guilt guilt is such a messy

20:08 emotion and I don't know whether you feel it a lot but I've had to really struggle yes I hate it so much it's up there with shame for me I'm like H it's just such a hard one again I feel like the guilt is embedded in my Cuban culture and also although I wasn't raised like strict Catholic I there was a lot of that Catholic guilt yeah a lot of the punishment and the like so yeah

20:34 guilt is something I'm working on a lot we're going to take a short break now but when we return more of this amazing conversation on how we can survive motherhood with the lovely one and only Ava Mendes welcome back I am loving this amazing conversation with my dear friend Ava Mendes on all things Womanhood and motherhood so I have two questions that I think other women will really be helped by yes please so you're working mother right

21:07 and you're a public figure and a successful woman so how does that affect your parenting in terms of guilt because I'm I'm also a working mother and I also have had this challenge of how do I negotiate with guilt because it's eating me up but I also know if I was a stay-at-home mom not pursuing my passion staying at home is not a problem but if I was not pursuing my passion that would eat me up too so how do you negotiate

21:35 and I know it's a daily battle for sure it's a daily battle but for me I think of like what do I want to model for them and then that for me gives me such Clarity like such Clear Vision and it's like I want them to see that I work obviously but that I sometimes love my work and I sometimes do not love my work you know but I do it anyway there's something that happens once I clicked

22:06 into what I want to model for them that is just pure Clarity for me and I love it cuz I don't have that in other areas of my life but in that one I do I just want everyone to just take a moment and just take this one big teaching moment that you've given us if we can just align with okay what am I modeling right now and I'll tell you another area this could work is really well is when our

22:30 children are experiencing pain pain that either we've caused them or in their own lives and we want to take them out of Pain by either you know let's go eat or let's distract ourselves that's another place this question could work so well well what am I modeling right now that pain is difficult that pain should be suppressed that pain should be numbed right so if we can click into that you know what am I modeling and how can this

22:57 be a teach teach for our children right this is another version of that question what am I modeling which really means what are my children learning what can they learn from this moment then we suddenly switch into warrior mod Warrior instead of warrior yeah as Warrior and I got this from your book so we're going to talk about it in a moment my other question to you you know as such a beautiful woman external and internal in

23:25 fact the more beautiful the more women struggle with aging Beauty the pressure to look a certain way and the public feels no compunction in just you know shedding judgment on people like you so how have you dealt with that and I know you were referring to my book a radical Awakening when we were talking in private but love it how have you grown into self-acceptance therapy therapy therapy and really enjoying the process of therapy really enjoying getting to know

23:56 myself like I I just keep kind of of surprising myself even though I feel stuck in a rut sometimes and then I'm like you know so just kind of keep going deeper and deeper but the thing about it's interesting the thing about aging and like the The Superficial or aspect or you know is that I feel like there's a also like a misconception out there like I'm 50 and there's no way I'm hiding my age right

24:29 like as far as like I swear I feel like when I was in my 20s I tried to hide my age it was weird like I didn't want to get old and I was so young but I feel like you know what started happening in my 30s and and late 30s and then early 40s that it's just kind of like oh this is happening like I'm not exempt I'm aging and okay I'm going to have to

24:56 figure this out how do I feel about this so again working on myself and thank God it doesn't happen overnight it doesn't so I've had times I remember like when I was like on my 35th birthday I swear I was on a plane to a job and I had um I was yeah I was on a plane and I had a little mirror with me and I was just checking my and I saw something I was

25:19 like what is that and it was like oh my gosh it was the beginning I think of me kind of going it's happening to me it's really happening so then after just working with my therapist and really working on myself and just going like I can't be in denial because I feel like like I said when I was younger I was more denied like I'm not going to get old like everyone else is getting I'm good you know and then you know

25:41 somewhere around my mid-30s it was like oh it's happening so anyway my point in telling you that is I've just been making peace with myself along the way and I can honestly tell you that anything I've done and I love a treatment like nothing else and I love you know I love going in and taking taking care of my face and my body in any way I can from the inside out but like outside you know I do not do it

26:07 because I feel a pressure to I'm too much of a rebel in that way and I'm too much of a like I don't I don't know whatever I've done I've done for myself and I've been like oh no like that didn't look good that didn't work okay let me see but I don't know where I get that from but it's it's this thing I'm not doing it for anyone else and oh the misconception that I think is that like

26:35 if I start feeling a little extra flabby I'm going to go to the gym because that's just whatever obviously I want to stay healthy and for my kids and all that but aesthetically I do care you know I'm not like obsessive about it because I don't like going to the gym but if I feel something I'm going to like tone up do some extra cardio you know I don't you know see my trainer Maybe an extra day a week so when I see

27:01 something that bothers me like let's say my my little thing is like down here this area you know I go to a dermatologist like I just see something that I I'm not okay with and I change it but then there's stuff that I'm not like it's not worth it to me like for instance I have really droopy lids and they're getting like droopier right and it changes like the way my eye is you know I'm changing but it doesn't bother

27:27 me enough enough yet to do something about it because it's like what am I going to do do you know what I mean like so for me it's such a personal like you know equation and I love that we all like to judge other women that's really the core of it all and each woman can calibrate her own relationship to her aging and decide for herself and play with it or not play with it or do

27:51 something deeper uh but I think you know what I'm hearing more is that you are coming to more peace with your insecurities and your strengths and and you know people think that because they often will ask me this question oh how do you handle your aging they expect me to say that I've made peace with all my insecurities and I say hell no every day I find something I'm insecure with what I've made peace with is that I'm

28:16 insecure exactly that's what I know peace with right that's so good yes yes because it's such a Utopia to think that you are going to not be in inure that's a lie there's no human on who's not insecure so making peace with the fact that when I look in the mirror I'm going to complain about something is actually accepting our all our parts the insecure parts and the secure Parts I totally hear what you're saying I feel like

28:45 because I've had so much practice being in front of the camera and getting so much criticism that my insecurities of course there's some physical insecurities but I've made peace with with that like the way you're saying it and my insecurities lie in a different place there're I I'm very insecure when you do something to your face or your parents is that you want to try to look younger and for me that's not the case like it's very

29:12 interesting because you know I've read comments and stuff like that at times sometimes I'm in the mood to read them sometimes I don't but I'm not going to be like I never read them yeah because a lot of times I actually like to reply to the women because that's where I like to connect you know right but of course there's like the bad that comes with the good and um I feel like there's a misconception on like I'm not trying to

29:33 look younger I'm 50 and also like just look it up I'm not trying to like you know it's just like going to the gym I guess it's that it's that thing again where I'm just like I see something that I'm not comfortable with or not even comfortable that I'm like ooh that's bothering me I take the action from there I think it's more for me that I do it for myself and I check in with myself

29:55 about it and going like who am I doing this for what am I doing this organ and that's where I think the peace comes in and and I think every woman needs to allow herself and give herself the permission and every man to do something according to their own internal equation no one can tell us what color to dye our hair so why are they telling us how we should take care of our face or our body

30:17 so I think we're getting to a better place I think with this as women giving ourselves permission to please ourselves the way we need to please ourselves that make us feel more aligned with who we want to be in the world and just like you can't judge a woman for wearing 6in heels we can't judge a woman for what she does with her face or her body and and the most important piece that you said I think is checking in with

30:41 yourself and asking yourself okay and even if you are doing it for your man that's okay too and even if you are doing it for your next movie that's okay too but just to be aware so that you're not blindly reacting to an external pressure but you're really coming from an internal place yes yes exactly thank you for saying the words that I was struggling to say for this book now you didn't need to write a book you are

31:10 already so you know out there in the world so tell me your deepest personal inspiration behind writing this book it's called Desi mommy and the NeverEnding worries tell me your inspiration behind this my 10-year-old when she was five she pretty much out of the blue like she came up to Ryan and I and she said mama dada I named my brain and we were like oh that's interesting and we're like okay what'd

31:40 you name it and I promised her I wasn't going to say what she named it because I like to get her permission before I talk about her and I said I won't say the name but it's very interesting name and I said okay cool and then it kind of became a thing like you know and then when she was struggling with these with a lot of worries that I I feel like I've just passed down unconsciously

32:04 subconsciously I was like starting to use that as a tool I was like wait a minute that's your insert name brain you know that's you know Brian it's not Brian but that's you know Brian that that's the part of your brain Brian that that's a trying to bully you right now no that's not you this isn't you you know this is something separate than you this is like you know it's Your Mind is Playing Tricks on you it's trying to

32:29 like you know a bully was really a great word so I used it as a tool and still use it as a tool completely with both of them that they need to separate themselves at times and be the Observer and and see what's happening what's really happening and not believe everything they think so I was just like oh my gosh what a tool I mean you know I read a CI when you know 20 years ago and

32:57 you know and I I was you know trying you know I still am trying to figure out you know how to stay in that Observer you know space more often but like I don't know I found it so simple and helpful the way she broke it down without even knowing that I just really wanted to share it and you know it went through a few different titles it used to be train your brain and um you know I have a

33:24 wonderful editor who helped me like they're like it's not so kid-friendly like yeah but that's what I anyway I love what it is now because it it goes hand in hand but um but yeah so that's how it started and I I just want to share what's worked for me because you know I see these kids and we're also everyone not just kids but we're all stressed and worried and like drop off your kid at school you're telling me

33:50 there's not a parent that's not worried in in the United States you know like right about whatever it may be so I just wanted to share that's really like oh maybe this helps I mean it's so beautifully written it's beautifully Illustrated but the the Simplicity behind the powerful message is really what is key and just for people to know they should beat it but what I found so powerful is that through the Art of Storytelling you are teaching the child

34:23 this power of observation so that they are not over taken and overwhelmed by their own brain and in a very simple way you're teaching Desi how she can better control her thoughts and and manage them in a way that empowers her versus disempower her and if a parent read this just once a week to their child when they're young Imagine by the time they're six or seven this will become

34:53 the way they talk about themselves this is this will become the way they talk to their own thoughts and their own brain so you have done a great service for parents because you've broken it down right we we all need simple ways to tell our kids hey that's your brain don't take it so seriously but it's hard because it's such an abstract concept but you've taken this abstract concept and put it into a beautiful story and

35:18 given the tool to these children that they can use to train their own brain and that's not easy to do ever so I'm really proud of you you thank you it's called Desi mommy and the never ending worries what has been the most surprising thing that you've learned from parents or children uh on this book tour of yours just as how many adults were like I like this for me and I'm just like you know that that's been

35:45 really surprising and fun because I also love the connection you have with your kids when you read and obviously like I still read picture books to my kids at night because my 10-year-old is like totally into it the more simple the better you know at night for us anyway so but it's about the connection so when I like a book we'll revisit it like I love all the Places You'll Go by Dr Seuss so I read that that's how I feel

36:13 about that that book so I tend to go back to that every you know often so when a parent tells me like they enjoy it that's been the biggest surprise and also the the biggest compliment because it's like okay and you know when you enjoy it as a parent the connection with the child or you know is stronger when experiencing the book and it's not like you know I've been there too when I'm tired and I'm like you know just turn

36:36 the page and kind of keep it monotone and okay we did that so when there's a connection to it it's just makes it that much more special and and you know the last time I picked up a children's book was maybe like I don't know 20 years ago my daughter's 21 now 22 wow but but at the end of my reading this I exhaled and I enter this Whimsical Cala place and it reminded me of the power of bedtime

37:03 stories how that late night connection time is actually when our children open up the most and so I'm just reminding all parents of children under the age of 10 or 12 you can still read to your children at night it's such a powerful way to connect don't give that up to easily because once it's now my daughter's 22 when am I going to be able to read her a story you know right and I think the power of bedtime stories are

37:32 uh not you know highlighted enough I think we underrate the power of bedtime stories so thank you for writing this book Thank you for supporting my work in conscious parenting and being than you and being such a such an ambassador it's been a pleasure having you Eva thank you so much for being here thank you so much again thank you for all you've done you know I'm just like I've learned so much from you as so many of us have oh my

37:59 goodness I so enjoyed this conversation with AA I always do whenever I speak with her because she embodies such a vulnerability such a raw quality that is so relatable given all her success and fame out there in the world at the end of the day her humility reminds us that each one of us is allowed to be imperfect and what stands her out from the crowd is her willingness to to grow so I hope everyone listening gives

38:30 themselves the permission to be vulnerable to be honest with themselves and allow themselves to be imperfect all the while evolving and growing don't forget to check out her amazing new book Desi mommy and the never-ending worries this is a beautiful story that you can read out to your little ones your little children to help them deal with their anxieties and we all know that children today surely need help with this I will see you on the next episode of

39:00 parenting and you with me Dr chaali parenting and you with Dr shaali is for educational and informational purposes only it is not intended as a substitute for professional medical psychological psychotherapeutic coaching health care or other qualified professional advice diagnosis or treatment