Transcript
0:00 so children have little emotional backpacks that they carry that are full of unresolved feelings from lots of different little moments and big moments when things did not go perfectly for them you cannot avoid this there's no way it's not worth even trying you can't keep your child from having hard moments happen we can we can prevent most of them we can prevent the most dangerous ones but children get sick you know somebody runs over their foot
0:29 you know they fall off the table for some reason the dog comes and you know bounces their little chair off the table and they fall and they're okay but it's really scary these feelings stay locked in their in their emotional backpack and what happens is that certain little triggers in the present moment remind the child unconsciously of that time you know the brain's fishing for information and what comes up is this big glob of feeling which is why children have very big
0:59 feelings about very small and safe little little disappointments or little hitches you know a child can have a huge tantrum on the floor because a button fell off of her jacket and you can reason till the cows come home honey i'm going to sew the button back up i can i'm going to sew it up right now you don't need to get all upset you know i can sew the button see here's the button see i it's sewed
1:22 on with thread doesn't help because the child is flooded with emotion and when they're flooded with emotion this part of the brain the prefrontal cortex where where reasoning happens can't function so if a child's limbic system is in disarray because they feel threatened or because they've been reminded of a threatening situation and the feelings from the past are now flooding the present if that
1:53 happens your child can't think they cannot make sense of what you say they cannot obey you they can you can look at them and say if you do that you are going to get x y or z they look at you right in the eye and just do it it's not because they want to defy you it's not because they want to manipulate you it's not because they are bad kids they are not bad kids their brain isn't working it's flooded
2:17 with emotion so when they're feeling good and connected when they've got a line in on you and you've you know you're smiling and you're sitting there doing your um you know kind of repairing something on the kitchen table and and smiling and you're just around you know they can play with their little brother just fine not get into any fights you know things are good cat walks by they can be gentle with the cat because the prefrontal cortex which
2:45 governs attention span governs reasoning governs judgment governs impulse control and it's the seat of short-term memory i can remember that you taught them yesterday how to be gentle with the cat they remember those lessons because their brain is working because the limbic system has a lining on you and it therefore allows the whole brain to work in concert it allows learning to happen
Summary
- Children accumulate unresolved feelings from both minor and major experiences.
- Emotional triggers can cause disproportionate reactions, such as tantrums over small issues.
- The limbic system can flood the child's brain with past emotions, hindering rational thought.
- When overwhelmed, children may not respond to reasoning or consequences, not due to defiance but because their brain isn't functioning optimally.
- Positive emotional connections with caregivers enhance children's ability to learn and manage their emotions.
- A calm and supportive environment helps children access their prefrontal cortex, improving impulse control and memory.
- Emotional regulation is crucial for effective learning and behavior management in children.