What Do I Do When My Child Hits Me

0:00 [Music] Parenting by connection has the tools families need my name is Susan Derby and I am a certified instructor of parenting by connection I have two daughters one is 10 months old and the other is 7 years old now I never considered my seven-year-old to be a very physically aggressive child but I do remember when she was around four years old we went through this period where she would hit me

0:32 occasionally and that would often be when I set a limit around TV a show would be over and I'd say it's time to turn it off now honey and she would try her best to negotiate she'd say just one more Show Mommy please five more minutes and I'd say I'm sorry honey it's it's time for the show to be over and she would get so angry she'd

1:05 just rage and she would hit me sometimes she would kick me one time I remember she even slapped me across the face and so what I would do is I would stop her I would stop her calmly but firmly stop her from hurting me and I'd say I can't let you hear H me honey I can't let you kick me and that would just make her rage

1:36 even more and often she would dash out of the room go into her room slam the door and I would follow after her you know I wouldn't chase after her um make the situation more scary for her because I know that at the root of that anger for her was fear so I didn't want to add more more fear so I'd follow calmly you know open the door shoes

2:08 behind there and try to stay with her stay with her through the Raging through the tears that would inevitably come up and stay close and support her while she did the real healing work of offloading and releasing her emotions um and when she did so she would get to a place where she could think clearly again so aggression I know that those of

2:38 you who are watching this are probably dealing with aggression from your child maybe you're observing it um and so I guess the little takeaway I want to give you from this short clip is calm staying calm in the face of aggression um that that's so huge to be be able to stay calm when your child is being aggressive toward you goes a long way in helping them feel a sense of

3:10 safety helping them feel the foundation of your support hand in hand has a ton of Articles and other resources on aggression um and on tools that help you stay calm stay calm and grounded and sane as a parent or caregiver um so visit handinhandparenting dog for more thank you