How does your baby compare? (What every parent needs to hear about milestones)

0:00 Milestones are one of the most misused tools used by parents. It might seem perfectly innocent. You're sitting there at a mother's group and there are two other children there the same age as yours, they are both sitting up just fine and yours is still nowhere near mastering this skill. So you start to wonder are they behind? But using milestones as a comparison tool isn't helpful and in this video I'm going to tell you why and then we're going to talk about how milestones should be used. When you hear the term milestones you're probably thinking of things like crawling and walking but they actually include much more than physical progress. In addition to motor skills which are those physical abilities like learning to crawl and walk, developmental milestones also include sensory skills which refers to your child's ability to use their sight and hearing. Then you've got communication skills and this involves how well your child can express their needs or feelings. Then you have social skills which is how well your child interacts and gets along with others. And then finally you have cognitive skills and these are your child's thinking skills, like solving simple problems. If you want to see all these milestones I've got a free chart you can download which is linked down in the description. Here's the thing with milestones though, it's not about hitting a particular skill at an exact age. We don't expect babies to sit up unassisted the moment they turn six months old.

1:26 In fact, the timing for each milestone is actually a range and not a specific age. And it's wider than you think. Take walking for instance, it's often considered a 12 month old milestone. But it's developmentally normal for kids to learn to walk anywhere between nine months of age all the way up to 18 months of age. You'll see early walkers strutting around before their first birthday, while others may take a little longer crawling or using furniture for support and only starting to walk independently by 18 months of age.

1:58 And all of these babies are within the range that we consider healthy development. Both biological and environmental factors contribute to this wide variation. Even your baby's temperament has an impact on when they'll reach developmental milestones. For example, let's say your baby is naturally very curious. This natural curiosity makes them eager explore the world around them and that desire to explore is going to motivate them to crawl and walk sooner. But if your baby is less adventurous they might not have the same strong motivation to move independently and as a result they might hit those crawling and walking milestones a little later but still within the expected range. When it comes to their environment the space your baby has to move around, the toys they play with, your daily interactions and even your family's cultural practices can all contribute to how they develop. You might be surprised to learn that the environment even has an impact on language development. We know that babies learn language best from interacting directly with people and for some parents they naturally talk to their baby constantly throughout the day and for others that doesn't come naturally.

3:11 They might barely say a thing. In both cases each baby is likely to hit their language milestone within the expected range. So it's not something to stress about, but it is a good example as one factor which can contribute to some babies reaching language developmental milestones earlier than others. Now just a reminder, if your baby was born prematurely you need to adjust all of these developmental milestone ranges to cater for that. The way you do this is to use their due date when figuring out when they should reach certain milestones rather than their actual birth date. Given the fact that the windows for each milestone are so broad, it's not useful to compare your baby's progress to their peers. Each child is unique and learns at their own pace. Some might pick up new skills faster, while others might take a bit more time. But that doesn't mean that one baby is smarter or more advanced than the other.

4:11 So, instead of stressing over comparisons, it's more beneficial to focus on your child as an individual. Celebrate their progress, and as long as they're hitting their milestones within those expected ranges, they are doing great. Now there are certain milestones that we expect children to hit at the very latest by 3, 6, 9 and 12 months of age. If they aren't reaching these milestones within the expected timeframe, this raises what we refer to in a clinical setting as a developmental red flag.

4:43 A developmental red flag suggests your child may not be advancing at a pace consistent with their peers, which could hint at a developmental delay or possibly a more severe issue. Early detection of potential developmental issues allows for prompt intervention, improving your child's chances of catching up with their peers and reducing the effects of any developmental delays on their overall growth. So, as a parent, it's important you know what they are and how to spot them. I've made you two extra videos to go into everything you need to know in detail, depending on your child's age.

5:18 You can see the six month red flags here or the 12 month red flags over here or in somewhere in this area. Just pick the one that suits you best and head on over and watch that one next.