Top 7 Fatherhood Myths - Are They True? | Dad University

0:00 A myth is a widely held but false belief or idea. And when it comes to fatherhood, there absolutely are beliefs and ideas that we're just not sure whether they are true or not. Some of these myths are around because at some point in history they may have been true. I will also say that depending on where you live or the culture you are a part of, these myths may also be something that you hear. So in this video I'm going to go over a couple fatherhood myths.

0:30 You can then decide whether you think they're real or not. Hey guys, I'm Jason Kreidman and welcome to another episode of dad University. Be sure to give this video a thumbs up. Subscribe to the channel and click on that notification bell so you know when our videos are uploaded. Also, it really helps us spread our message when you share these videos. So maybe you know three people that might enjoy it. Please share it with them. I want to hear from you.

1:00 Is there anything about fatherhood that you were told was true or you thought was true and then it ended up not being true? Leave your feedback in the comment section below. Now let's get to the top seven fatherhood myths. Number one if I make a mistake, I'm going to mess up my child. Here's the thing. Perfection in fatherhood is not a requirement. We all make mistakes and as a father you're going to make a lot of them.

1:27 And that's okay. Kids are pretty resilient and so you messing up here and there, it's not going to mess them up. Of course I'm talking about mistakes that don't change the course of their life or don't have huge ramifications. When we're a new father, we're always scared of making mistakes, but we're going to make a lot of them and a lot of times we're worried about changing the diapers or are we feeding correctly, are we holding the baby right?

1:55 All these kinds of tactical things in the way that you're dealing with your baby, it's going to be okay. Sure, you're going to make mistakes. The key to making mistakes is to not make the same mistake over and over again. Learn from them. Number two, a father's primary role is to make money for the family. Traditionally, fathers went to work and mothers stayed at home. But that's not the case anymore. We have stay at home dads, we have working mothers, we have dual income families and all other kinds of of combinations.

2:28 Really what works is what works best for you and your family. We aren't defined by one single primary role. It just doesn't work that way anymore. I know of marriages in which the father works and the mother stays at home, and the truth is they're both miserable. It actually would work better if they switched roles and reversed. Well, the father would stay at home and the mother would work. He's more of the nurturing one and she's the go getter.

2:55 What happens, though, is that people believe in these myths and so they end up not being happy because they believe in those myths that the father has to work and the mother stays at home. Stop believing the myths. This brings us to another fatherhood myth number three. Fathers aren't as good at taking care of babies. Okay, so we don't produce milk. But as far as loving the child, feeding it, dressing it, taking care of a baby, fathers are absolutely capable and very good at it.

3:28 Many fathers just choose not to do so, whether because of the circumstances or they still believe in the myth. But as far as capabilities, fathers absolutely have that capability. It's funny how often people, especially women, will comment when a dad is taking care of a baby. I was talking to a stay at home dad the other day and he was telling me that he gets comments all the time when he's out with his children because he may be out at the store during the day or doing other errands.

3:58 And women will comment saying, oh, you're babysitting today, or oh, looks like you got your hands full. Those kinds of comments don't happen to mothers. But for some reason, people think that the dads are not as capable as the moms of taking care of the babies and that it's some sort of oddity and so they feel the need to comment about it. But the truth is, men are just as capable. Another fatherhood myth number four. Fathers should be able to do it all.

4:29 We have this myth that we put upon ourselves that we need to be a great father, a great husband, a great business person, and do all of those all the time. The problem with that is that you can't be all of those things all the time. Sure, one day you might be a great dad and spending a lot of time with your kids, but you didn't do much work, or you didn't get much work done, or you didn't spend time with your wife and vice versa.

4:57 You might be really hustling at work and getting a lot of stuff done and progressing, but you're skipping out on some of that family time. So that's the difficulty is that we feel like, we can have it all. But it is really difficult to be all of those things all the time. As an entrepreneur, this is a difficult one. I find it challenging. I want to believe the myth that we can have it all, but it is a challenge.

5:23 In fact, it's happening in real time. I'm recording this video late at night, and as a result, missing dinner with my family. In fact, I didn't see my kids really, except for a couple minutes this morning. So I'll go through the whole day not spending any time with my kids. So as a father, that's not too good. But as a business person, I'm getting a lot of content done. I'm producing things, and I'm progressing with my business.

5:50 But this is the great part, is that every day you get to start over. So guess what? Tomorrow you better believe I'm going to be home for dinner. And it's the same thing goes for my wife, is I want to spend time with my wife. So we need to carve out time to go to date night or time that we can talk. And these are the kinds of things you do. You have to make specific time for each one of those things in your life.

6:14 I think instead of calling it balance, maybe it's work, life, harmony, all of these things have to work together. And in order to do that, you can't do them all perfectly all the time. So you make one a priority at one time, and then you switch and you realize, you know what? This might need my attention a little bit more. And so you make sure that you're doing that next. Fatherhood myth number five. Dads don't need to spend as much time with their children.

6:42 Dads are equally as important as moms. Now, certainly, if a parent is working, they don't have the opportunity to spend as much time with the children as the other parent. But whether it's the mom or the dad, parents spending time with their kids is crucial now. So if you're a dad and you don't think your time spent with your child is as important as the mom's, you are wrong. It is very important. Another fatherhood myth number six.

7:11 Men don't suffer from postpartum depression. We made a video about this, and most people think that only women suffer from postpartum, and it's simply not true. It might just manifest itself a little differently. It may not look like depression. It could be anger. It could be addictions. It can be irritability. There's all kinds of ways that men might show that postpartum depression. The difference too is that it's just not as acceptable for men to talk about it.

7:43 So because people don't think that men suffer from it, men are less inclined to discuss it. But it's crucial that we talk about it. Number seven Fathers are Less nurturing than mothers we had the myth earlier in which we said fathers are not as good at taking care of babies. This one is a little bit broader. This one is about nurturing. The truth is, men are very nurturing. In fact, I know some men that in their marriage they are much more nurturing than their wives.

8:12 And I've seen their kids, when their kids get hurt or their kids have issues, the father is the one that they go to first because they are more nurturing. We have to be careful when we make assumptions about fathers and moms. Here at dad University, we are trying to change the narrative of what it means to be a father. We're about getting more involved, stepping up, and we are seeing that more and more every day. The world is changing.

8:41 We want to be a part of that change. Myths are like stereotypes. There might be a couple of people who it applies to, but you can't define a group. So these fatherhood myths are just that, beliefs that no longer apply. I'd love to hear from you. As I asked in the beginning, is there anything about fatherhood that you thought it was going to be like and it just turned out not to be true? It's a myth.

9:07 Leave your feedback in the comment section below. If you found this video helpful. You don't want to miss what we have for you in our other videos. Be sure to give this video a thumbs up. Subscribe to the channel and click on that notification bell. Also, be sure to share these videos with your friends and family. We'll see you next week.