Young Women Can Benefit From Good Male Role Models | Clips | Dad Saves America

0:00 (air whooshing) - You know, you said that your biological dad wasn't in your life, and that your stepdad was a tense relationship. So did you have other father figures? Did you have men in your life, 'cause you had these strong, women in particular, your godmother, your neighbor. - Yeah. - What men played a role that mattered for you? - Yeah, folks often ask if you are a kid that doesn't have a father, they say, "Oh, did you ever wanna meet your dad?

0:26 Did you ever wanna know your dad? Are you okay, do you have daddy issues?" You know, and as a woman, it's like, do you have daddy issues? It's actually no. And the reason why is because I had so many amazing men in my life. I went to a church, I was literally adopted by like five different men who nurtured me. You know, I had my brother, he's my godmother's son, and he thinks he's my dad. He's not my dad, but he treats me like he's, you know, I'm his child.

0:56 I'm like, "Listen, bro, you know, we're brother and sister." But definitely you know him. And then, I have folks like, you know, Deacon Phil, Minister Cherry, Minister Johnson, and these folks encamped around me. They always let me know that I was beautiful, that I was loved, that I could achieve more than ever. They, along with, you know, my godmother and some other folks from my church, moved me into college. And at the time I was just like, "Yeah, I'm coming with a squad."

1:28 But when I looked back it was so awesome, because it was like I had bodyguards, you know, behind me. They were my father figures. I never once lacked in that, you know, male role model. I was never void of high-quality men. I'm married now with a kid and I look at them. You know, I had a funny thing happen. Like, my car broke down, to say the least, and I immediately was gonna call my brother and my husband was like, "Love, like, let me do this."

2:02 - You're not used to it. - Yeah, but, no, I say that because I've had so many powerful and awesome men in my life who were father figures, and I definitely credit them with creating emotional stability, helping me to create that emotional stability in my life. 'Cause I could have been the type where it's like I don't think I'm beautiful or loved. And so I feed into other systems in order to pull that in somehow. - Yeah. - Never had that.

2:28 - You know, I think the statistics on basically unwed mothers, like, if you don't have a father figure in your life you're a lot more likely to end up with a baby instead. And I think that that plays a big role, like, you're looking for love in all the wrong places so to speak. - No, that's, yeah. Looking for love in all the wrong places. Now that I have a son, my baby is four-months-old. - Oh my gosh, congratulations. - I know.

2:55 But now that I have a kid of my own, now I understand the benefit of having a father. I'm really squishy and nurturing. And if I was raising him by myself, I could see how he might, you know, come out a little squishy and not hard. - There's a yin and yang. - There's a yin and yang to it. And now that I'm older and I look back at my own personal life and I see the role that my father figures had in my life, I'm like, you know, "That helped to have that yin and yang, yeah."

3:27 - This show is called "Dad Saves America" and the channel. And it's a big part of the way I think about things is that we need to put forward a healthy vision for what it means to be a man, and to be a man in other people's lives, and to be a dad. And I'm so happy that you had that, 'cause I think it speaks to how you're able to sit here today and do what you're doing for your community.

3:46 - If you enjoyed this clip, we've got more where that came from. Be sure to check out my full conversation with Denisha Allen. And one of the best ways you can help support us is to subscribe to the channel so you won't miss our interviews and short videos as they come out each week. (air whooshing) (gentle upbeat music) (air whooshing)