The Best Parenting Decisions Happen After a Pause

0:00 My partner and I totally disagree on how to handle it when our kids want to quit. I want to push them to stick it out. My partner thinks we just back off and not make such a big deal. How do we navigate this without confusing our kids or fighting in front of them? I think what I do is probably try to have a conversation first with your partner outside the moment. Whenever our kid wants to quit something, the truth is in that moment when they're first talking about it, we probably don't have enough information yet to figure out what's really going on and make a great decision with our kid. Do you think one of the things we could do the next time this comes up is actually just say, "We're going to make this decision together as a family. We're going to end up making a decision we all feel good about. We just need a little bit of time." Because one of the things that happens with time is you actually do get information that helps you make a better decision. Maybe over time you learn, "Oh my goodness, at my kid's soccer practice, my kid is being really bullied." Or maybe you go to that soccer practice and you see something different. My kid used to be the starting wing and now there's a new kid on the team who's better. My kid isn't starting. And actually, I think that's what's leading my kid to say they want to quit. But none of that happens if you don't allow yourself time and curiosity.

1:11 And so I have found in partnerships aligning on that can we just learn more together because maybe we don't have such different philosophies. Maybe we'll end up in the same place if we just figure it out together over